nut hugger
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
