woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
