the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
you made out with another girl for some wings
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
