just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
