Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
