My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I could fuck to npr.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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