hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
