This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
