I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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