What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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