But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
