I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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