I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
