'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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