Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize