awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
