Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
