four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
