peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
