So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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