she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
