You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
