We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
