If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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