who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize