S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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