I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
