I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No subtext here. People are naked.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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