is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
