my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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