are you still at the devil's house?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
so much tequila, so little girl.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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