so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize