I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
