i think my mom watched the whole time
love makes seman taste better
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
