I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
