Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
