and you said cock pushups were impossible
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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