One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
