you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
