Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
