My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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