real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm like, not good at living.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
