I want to make a zoo with you.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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