My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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