Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
