Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
