listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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