And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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