drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Who died my cat blue again?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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