Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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