Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
