508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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