i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
