i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
