i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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