What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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