she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
