well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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