How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
