Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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