shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wish life had little blips of pornography
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize