i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
